Deidara's Painful Rememberance
by Eliza Nire
Summary: My first fanfic/song I dunno what you call it but I think it turned out better than I thought it would. Deidara's grief when Sasori died was beyond measure, but how will he react to this goofy child they sent as Sasori's replacement?


**I used to rule the world  
Seas would rise when I gave the word  
**Thoughts of my accomplishments went through my head, the faces of my screaming victims, the whispers that would filter through the air when I walked down a quiet street. No-danna...my master...my accomplise. The echo's that radiated off the walls when we found a target, death filling the air. How that air tasted when we were together...

**Now in the morning I sleep alone  
Sweep the streets I used to own**

But he isn't here anymore...he had long since gone from my life. I tasted the fear by myself now...and it would never be the same without him praising me. Without his pressence I was but an empty shell that wandered down dark paths.

**I used to roll the dice  
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes**

My own being created fear in the most unshakable of people. I could look at death and spit it in the face, laughing along side my No-danna. What took that away from me?

**Listen as the crowd would sing:  
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"  
**  
I could sense the comfort that people now felt since he was gone. They sighed with reckless abandon, forgetting that I was still hovering the streets. How foolish they were to chant there praises of fear unto me, when I only wished that _he_ was here to savor it with me.

**One minute I held the key  
Next the walls were closed on me**

I knew he was gone. Then why did every morning when I awoke, his face still hovering over me from my dreaming state, did I look at my side and whisper his name. Why did it kill me to know that he would never look at me again, never smile again.**  
**

**And I discovered that my castles stand  
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand**

I was crumbling. The fear and terror I bestowed unto my victims was fading. My own tears replaced what I thought would be sitting next to me every morning. No longer did I have the nerve to go on. I was shaking, but why would'nt death take me too?

**I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing  
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing  
Be my mirror my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field**

I want to step closer to No-danna, I want to follow him into the dark. I almost jumped...but he held me back.They sent me this...thing...to replace No-danna. This bumbling idiot who believes he can replace that wonderful man, even partially fill the gap in my soul that _he_ created when he left me behind. This new company tries hard to ease my fears, to make my nightmares go away. Everyday he becomes wiser than he used to be, more powerful. He even stepped on one of my bird bombs. Today was the first time I laughed in two months... I think his name is Tobi.**  
**

**For some reason I can't explain  
Once you go there was never, never an honest word  
That was when I ruled the world**

It won't be the same without you Sasori, but im managing to go on. Nothing will ever fill your void, but he tries hard everyday to ease my pain. Look down on us and smile, No-Danna, that smile you used to give me when you were pleased and happy. A rare smile but that is what makes it all the more glorious.

**It was the wicked and wild wind  
Blew down the doors to let me in.  
Shattered windows and the sound of drums  
People couldn't believe what I'd become  
**

My new accomplise also savored the taste of fear, but not as much as we would have hoped. I was still crumbling but now instead of the weak foundation that held me up, it was more solid, and I was once more able to sweep quiet streets, once more filled with whispers of me. After so much time of breaking and screaming, I was able to once more become myself, No-danna's face urging me forward. Things were slower, and my cheerful apprentice laughed and praised me. Maybe he was what saved me from death...?

**Revolutionaries wait  
For my head on a silver plate  
Just a puppet on a lonely string  
Oh who would ever want to be king?**

With death installed once more into my being, I sensed that it seemed diffrent somehow. I wasn't always scowling like before, I was laughing too. When my enemys hunted for me I could place my trust on this man, and not feel like the world was made just to make me suffer. I would never roam those streets again by myself. I would always be accompanied by this light soul, and even when my time was to come, I could see No-danna's shining face once more.

**I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing  
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing  
Be my mirror my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field**

He's fighting for me, yelling my name when we win the battle. Laughing and smiling beneath his orange mask, he savors in our victory with me, still easing my pain. He's protecting me in my times of weakness and saving me in times of distress. **  
**

**For some reason I can't explain  
I know Saint Peter will call my name  
Never an honest word  
But that was when I ruled the world  
**

I dont hate like I used to, No-danna. I can still see light in a world that you're no longer in, but I know that someday I can hold you in my arms once more and say your name. For now I will continue to walk on, facing tommorow with a joy in my heart that was given to me by a strange boy. Maybe you found him for me, No-danna, and I bet more than anything you're smiling at me right now. I'll be waiting to see you, wherever you are. I'll follow you wherever you go, be with you no matter what happens. I miss you Sasori, more than you can imagine, but im still walking until that day comes when you smile at me once more and whisper my name..."Deidara".

**Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh  
**


End file.
